Tuesday, September 14, 2010

To much

Things are starting to become a bit to much everything is so stressful at the moment,
so i am still looking for work over all the jobs i have applied for i have only had 1 interview though no call back after that, it makes it hard because i can work everyday but Tuesdays, i am still waiting for a position to become available at the boys daycare to place them in there for then, at the moment it costs me $198 thats for 3 days a week, if they go in for the other 2 days as well it goes up to just under $460, i know thats a lot of money though we cant afford for me to be at home not working, I have sent an Email to the director of the daycare to see if they have any Tuesdays free yet, if they do i might just bight the bullet and put them in, as there are so many jobs out there that i am qualified for though i cant do because they are only Monday to Friday... though Daniel doesn't seem to understand about me putting them in 5 days a week as i don't have a job yet, though whats the point applying for the Monday to Friday jobs if i loose the Tuesday spots,

On top of all that Jason's heart appointment is coming up next week and i am really scared about it, i'm petrified that he will have to have heart surgery i have had a lot of people tell me that its straight forward, or they have known people that have had to have it and all worked out fine, though there is so many complications that can go wrong with it, we are so LUCKY to even have Jason here with us as they only gave us a 40% chance of being able to ring him home, i would break if something happened to him, he has fought though so much and come so far, and yes i know he is a fighter though no one knows if one of the complications will or will not happen,

It just feels like everything is piling on top of me, i feel like i need a break or a get away just so i can have some me time, a stress free time, and before any ones says yes i do get some sort of a break with them being in daycare, though they are only in 3 days a week and i don't leave them in there for long they go in  between 7 and 8 and i pick them back up by 3pm, then when they are there i am busy here at home doing all the house work and trying to get the place clean, looking for work, doing food shopping or any other appointments i have, i dont get a chance any more to catch up on sleep any more so i am basically running on 4 hours sleep a day if that,

In the mean time trying to keep up with the house hold chores making sure Daniel has a good meal every night to eat trying to get Jason walking properly and catching up to other kids his age as he is still behind quite a lot,

I wouldn't recommend to anyone having 2 kids so close together as it REALLY takes it out of you,

In the meantime dad's ex girlfriend the stupid mole stole from me, her and dad was ment to buy off me a brand new tv cabinet, book case, tv and a few other items, also i was storing my futon there untill i could get someone to help me move it, plus with jasons bits and pieces plus they borrowed a few of my dvds well things between them when sour and she "apparently" got rid of the items, like fucking hell they were not her items to get rid of, the futon was basiclly brand new,  all she gave back was jasons porta cot, his high chair and the tv minus the remote, stupid mole, like things might work like that in her world where she can just get rid of things or steel them and not get in shi for it though in the real world and the white world things dont happen like that

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