Thursday, September 9, 2010

Why?

I have been wanting to post this for a while and every time i think about what i am going to write i end up crying, though i have been often wondering WHY about alot of things,
 am finding myself wondering why did god have to take my son away? why did he think he had the right to? Why did he think that Bryce was better of with him then 2 loving parents? and why did he almost take my life as well?
I miss him so much i want him to be here with us not in some box in the ground, its just not fair, the doctors can not give us any answers still to this day just under 2 1/2 years later and we are none the wiser all we were told is "its just one of those things that happen" and " that it doesn't happen to that many people i'm sorry though you are just one of those unfortunate people" Right yeah ok like that answers a hell of  a lot,

People tell me that i should just get over it and be thankful for the 2 little ones i have now, and i am grateful for them i really am, though i should have 3 children home with me not 2,

Why do i keep forgetting him for? i forget what his skin felt like what it was like to hold him what it was like to dress him and hold him so close to me, Why did i have to give him back to the nurses to take away Why couldnt i bring myself to hold him more for and look at him more,

Why did i put off going to the hospital for? maybe this could of all been prevented, Why didnt i go for, Why didnt i make the nurses listen to me when i called them, why did i take their advice and not go in then and there, Why did my body have to reject him for?

I want answers but i guess i am never going to get them....
all i can do is sit here and wonder why...............

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