Why?

I have been wanting to post this for a while and every time i think about what i am going to write i end up crying, though i have been often wondering WHY about alot of things,
 am finding myself wondering why did god have to take my son away? why did he think he had the right to? Why did he think that Bryce was better of with him then 2 loving parents? and why did he almost take my life as well?
I miss him so much i want him to be here with us not in some box in the ground, its just not fair, the doctors can not give us any answers still to this day just under 2 1/2 years later and we are none the wiser all we were told is "its just one of those things that happen" and " that it doesn't happen to that many people i'm sorry though you are just one of those unfortunate people" Right yeah ok like that answers a hell of  a lot,

People tell me that i should just get over it and be thankful for the 2 little ones i have now, and i am grateful for them i really am, though i should have 3 children home with me not 2,

Why do i keep forgetting him for? i forget what his skin felt like what it was like to hold him what it was like to dress him and hold him so close to me, Why did i have to give him back to the nurses to take away Why couldnt i bring myself to hold him more for and look at him more,

Why did i put off going to the hospital for? maybe this could of all been prevented, Why didnt i go for, Why didnt i make the nurses listen to me when i called them, why did i take their advice and not go in then and there, Why did my body have to reject him for?

I want answers but i guess i am never going to get them....
all i can do is sit here and wonder why...............

OMG

oh my god i am so hurt right about now, more than words can explain,
I had a photo of Bryce up as my profile photo on facebook photo and my father told me to take it down like to change it so i did, I told him i didnt see why i should though i would do it any how, he then told me becuase it could upset a lot of people mainly him


Do people not understand that it hurts me more being told/asked to take it down? Bryce is my son still it doesnt matter that he is not here with us, it doesnt matter that he is dead he is STILL my son, i am proud of him i am proud of every part of him,

Like yeah i understand that it would hurt some people to see him because of memories and the pain of it all, though why cant i show him for? why do i have to hid him for? people make him out to be like this diry little secret that no one talks about....


no on would have a problem of me putting up a photo of myself or Daniel or Jason or even Deacan so WHY does it bother people that i put one up of Bryce????



I might be over reacting and if i am please and i mean PLEASE tell me, i dont know if it is my hormones, or what though yeah this really upset me