Job interview

I had a job interview yesterday for a company called "Diana Ferrari" it was a group interview i felt like i done really well, though find out by Friday if i got it or not,
though yesterday afternoon on the way home from picking up the boys at daycare i received a   phone call from another company i applied for and have an interview today, this one is for "Cardio Tech" so looking foward to that one to

Update

Well i havent posted in here for a while so i thought its about time that i update everyone with whats happening in my world,

First off, Jason is now walking YAY its so cute to see him walk, he isnt walking you or I at the moment though he is taking a good couple of steps everywhere he wants to go, he walks now before he crawls, Jason is also taking less bottles now, so i think it might be the time to start upping the juice and only having bottles when its sleep time and as soon as he gets up, Also going to start toilet training soon as he is starting to show signs,

Secondly Deacan is now trying to crawl and he gets cranky when he cant he spends a lot of time on his belly now, and is eating at least 2 tins of solids a day, we are also teething now to, so i am really enjoying be up every morning at either 2 or 3am NOT

Job hunting is going good, I have applied for a lot of jobs and i have an interview tomorrow im looking forward to it though i am not going to get my hopes up, as i did with surpree as she made it sound like i was going to get a position and i never did, so fingers crossed this one works out well,

I have been trying to sort my "friends" out on facebook as i did have over 600 though a lot of them were from game apps, though now i am sorting people in categories of "Family" "Friends" "Close Friends" then game apps I.E farmvill, Cafe World etc, i also have a lot of random adds on there and i am over everyone knowing whats going on, as when i post some stuff i dont want everyone seeing it, so now i just select certain groups that can see it, I sent out a message to everyone to let me know what game apps they play and also what categories they fall under, its strange that just how many people just dont understand.... if people cant take the time to jsut send me a message saying then i dont think i have the time to have them on my list so i have given everyone 2 weeks to reply and if they dont the are getting deleted i dont care who they are,

So thats pretty much everything that has been happening i know a boring life LMFAO,

To much

Things are starting to become a bit to much everything is so stressful at the moment,
so i am still looking for work over all the jobs i have applied for i have only had 1 interview though no call back after that, it makes it hard because i can work everyday but Tuesdays, i am still waiting for a position to become available at the boys daycare to place them in there for then, at the moment it costs me $198 thats for 3 days a week, if they go in for the other 2 days as well it goes up to just under $460, i know thats a lot of money though we cant afford for me to be at home not working, I have sent an Email to the director of the daycare to see if they have any Tuesdays free yet, if they do i might just bight the bullet and put them in, as there are so many jobs out there that i am qualified for though i cant do because they are only Monday to Friday... though Daniel doesn't seem to understand about me putting them in 5 days a week as i don't have a job yet, though whats the point applying for the Monday to Friday jobs if i loose the Tuesday spots,

On top of all that Jason's heart appointment is coming up next week and i am really scared about it, i'm petrified that he will have to have heart surgery i have had a lot of people tell me that its straight forward, or they have known people that have had to have it and all worked out fine, though there is so many complications that can go wrong with it, we are so LUCKY to even have Jason here with us as they only gave us a 40% chance of being able to ring him home, i would break if something happened to him, he has fought though so much and come so far, and yes i know he is a fighter though no one knows if one of the complications will or will not happen,

It just feels like everything is piling on top of me, i feel like i need a break or a get away just so i can have some me time, a stress free time, and before any ones says yes i do get some sort of a break with them being in daycare, though they are only in 3 days a week and i don't leave them in there for long they go in  between 7 and 8 and i pick them back up by 3pm, then when they are there i am busy here at home doing all the house work and trying to get the place clean, looking for work, doing food shopping or any other appointments i have, i dont get a chance any more to catch up on sleep any more so i am basically running on 4 hours sleep a day if that,

In the mean time trying to keep up with the house hold chores making sure Daniel has a good meal every night to eat trying to get Jason walking properly and catching up to other kids his age as he is still behind quite a lot,

I wouldn't recommend to anyone having 2 kids so close together as it REALLY takes it out of you,

In the meantime dad's ex girlfriend the stupid mole stole from me, her and dad was ment to buy off me a brand new tv cabinet, book case, tv and a few other items, also i was storing my futon there untill i could get someone to help me move it, plus with jasons bits and pieces plus they borrowed a few of my dvds well things between them when sour and she "apparently" got rid of the items, like fucking hell they were not her items to get rid of, the futon was basiclly brand new,  all she gave back was jasons porta cot, his high chair and the tv minus the remote, stupid mole, like things might work like that in her world where she can just get rid of things or steel them and not get in shi for it though in the real world and the white world things dont happen like that

Heart Surgery

Jason has his Heart appointment on the 20th i am so scared for the little guy, if his hole in his heart hasnt closed up he has to go for heart surgery, they will check his groind while he is there to see if they can go that way, though if they cant they will be doing open heart surgery,
I asked a firend about it as he had to have it and he said the only thing if Jasons favor is that he is young, though there is so many risks for it,
He can have a heart attack an anurisem (sp), a stroke, an arrest (as they have to stop his hear to work on it)
Im so scared i no he is a tough little man, though he has already had to fight to be here i dont know what i would do if we lost him.... and the worse thing is he has to have the surgery if it hasnt closed, its not something that we can just leave and hope if you know what i mean,

Why?

I have been wanting to post this for a while and every time i think about what i am going to write i end up crying, though i have been often wondering WHY about alot of things,
 am finding myself wondering why did god have to take my son away? why did he think he had the right to? Why did he think that Bryce was better of with him then 2 loving parents? and why did he almost take my life as well?
I miss him so much i want him to be here with us not in some box in the ground, its just not fair, the doctors can not give us any answers still to this day just under 2 1/2 years later and we are none the wiser all we were told is "its just one of those things that happen" and " that it doesn't happen to that many people i'm sorry though you are just one of those unfortunate people" Right yeah ok like that answers a hell of  a lot,

People tell me that i should just get over it and be thankful for the 2 little ones i have now, and i am grateful for them i really am, though i should have 3 children home with me not 2,

Why do i keep forgetting him for? i forget what his skin felt like what it was like to hold him what it was like to dress him and hold him so close to me, Why did i have to give him back to the nurses to take away Why couldnt i bring myself to hold him more for and look at him more,

Why did i put off going to the hospital for? maybe this could of all been prevented, Why didnt i go for, Why didnt i make the nurses listen to me when i called them, why did i take their advice and not go in then and there, Why did my body have to reject him for?

I want answers but i guess i am never going to get them....
all i can do is sit here and wonder why...............

Thinking about things

Well i have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and i can honestly say after everything i have been through in the past 2 1/2 years to come out still in one piece and sane that i can do anything and accomplish anything,

after loosing a child and almost loosing my life after being married for only 23 weeks, to have a micro prem that we nearly lost several times and who spent 88 days in hospital, then to almost loose another child due to early labor, though spending 10 weeks straight in hospital with hardley ANY visits from any friends or family let alone my son, then to go though labor ALL on my own WITH OUT drugs and still come out on top with a LOVING husband, 2 gorgeous boys, and 1 little angel watching over us to make sure no harm comes to us i must be one of the most luckiest people on the planet,

As they say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, though for all my CLOSE friends out there and the ones who have been there when i really needed it a big thank you to you all, 

Amusing

I find it quite amusing and ironic that people tell me how i should be raising my kids, and what i am doing wrong and how my kids should be acting and what they should be doing,
Like yeah Jason is behind other kids his age though you no what  HE WAS PREM, Jason is classed as a micro prem as he was 15 weeks premature, he is doing a great job with what he is doing, considering he shouldn't even be here though yeah im not doing a good enough job, People only seem to notice the things that Jason isnt doing they never seem to notice the things that he IS doing, we do our best, we really do, he is doing get and coming along nicely like yeah he isnt walking yet though wont be long until he is, He is still having alot of bottles during the day though i know 2 year olds and 3 year olds that still have a lot of bottles during the day, Yeah he isnt eating proper  food yeah (really chunky food), yeah that ones is my fault as when he was young he would choke on his food so i didnt want push him with it so he stayed on puree foods, after loosing a child, then your next child shouldnt be with you as they should not of made it you tend to be quite mothering and wrap them up in cotton wool though yeah that ones my fault, though now he is getting more teeth he is eating a lot better,
People really need to practice what they preach they really do... like yeah Jason is a bit of a handful, though how about instead of criticizing my parenting how about they look at their own, im not the only one with unruly kids god no one is perfect,
We have learnt with what we have dont wrong with Jason so we are not making the same mistakes with Deacan, though you show me a perfict mother or father and i will show you a lier, no child is born with a hand book so suck it up and get off my back, we do the best we can,
Until anyone else has a micro prem and can bring them up to speed with other kids their age at the same time then yeah you can tell me what to do, though for all you that dont get the hell off my back

House of nappies

If anyone is interested i was given some info at daycare about a please that does bulk nappies House Of Nappies just thought i would share with all you mums out there

car

Im so happy i get my car back sometime next week i so cant wait,
Its been stuck at the mechanic though he has fixed it now
and told us this was wrong
injectors were all dirty (one wasnt working and one was only working 40%)
2 censors were not working
Gasket had gone
Oil leak had caused the timing belt to go so that needed to be replaced

this is what we replaced before it went into the mechanic
all 4 spark plugs
leads
both fuel filters

so all up i have already spent just over $200 on replacing parts
then with the mechanic its going to cos $730
so all up we are looking at just under $1000

eBay

SO i am finding it alot easier to sell things on eBay, then what it is to have a garage sale though we have so many things that need to go i need to clear out the spare room for Deacan i am starting to think about putting the collection i have of teddies up im sure they will go with out a problem, there is just so much stuff that Daniel and I have that we no longer need or use,

Q.. What has your eBay experience been like? and what have you been on there to find?