Sunday, November 21, 2010

So much to do/ Over it

There is so much that i need to do today and i REALLY cant see it happening,
I need to go and do shopping so the boys have their food, i need to read/study all the reading material that my new work has given me, as i have a 3 day trial starting as of tomorrow, i need to do the house work, wash Daniels work clothes plus make sure i have work clothes tomorrow, as soon as i go to sit and start reading the stuff for work one of the boys start, so of course i have to put it down and tend to them,
I was ment to start reading it on Friday, though after my doctors appointment and sitting at the doctors for 1 1/2 hours waiting for things to stat happening i wasn't in the mood/ right mind set to read/ learn

Its been 2 days now and Daniel still hasn't asked how the doctors went, and how my results went, he said to my father in law Peter that i haven't said anything to him about it, like i really want to come out and say that i had to have a termination, considering i didn't really want to have one,though i done what was best for my family at the time, as i could see if i kept the baby, i would be raising 3 children under 3 on my own, and i wouldn't be able to do that as i don't have the support that i need for it, I can see that a lot of people are now going to judge me for it, though you know what go a head and do it, I done what was right for my family and for me,
the worse thing about it is i really don't have the support i need now, after going and doing the one thing i am really against, its easy for people to sit there and judge and ridicule, though i now need to live with this for the rest of my life, and to be honest its not going to be easy, it wasn't easy for me to do it in the first place, so go a head throw your worst at me i really couldnt give to shits to be honest 

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