Wednesday, June 16, 2010

break down

i know you guys will probably think i am being petty or what not
though i really feel like i am about to have a break down,
i just cant handle all the crap thats going on right about now,
Everything is getting to me,
I am having massive mood swings, im waking up in the middle of the night with cold sweats, im tired all the time,
The stress from everything is really getting to me aswell,
since daniel and i have been back together we have not been able to save anything at all,
I get more income than what daniel does, though still i am expected to buy everything still, like he pays the rent and thats basically it, feels like my money just gets wasted...
Im still having trouble with letting Bryce go i just cant let him go, i really want to be able to let him reast in peace though i cant let him go, i am startign to play the blame game again, im starting to blame myself for it happening, as i think if i got to the hospital sooner they would of been able to save him, and i knwo that it was my body that rejected him, and that hurts even more,
Im starting to forget him and i really dont want to, im forgetting what it was like to hold him, im forgetting what his smell was like,
theses are the things i will never be able to get back again...
the flash backs just keep coming... i can still remember that day like it was yesterday.... i often wonder what he would look like now, and the things he would be doing,

No comments:

Post a Comment