Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Cant do it

I honestly cant do this any more i really cant, i have had about enough
Im trying my hardest NOT to smoke or drink coffee or have any alcohol and i am doing very well, i have been with out or 2 days now,

I am going to get a ticker going so i can see just how long i have been with out,

Though yeah back to what i was saying,  Things between Daniel and i are really not good i am over it I know i keep bitching about it though at the moment i cant take it any more,
Daniel knew just how hard this was going to be for me, as i have smoked since year 7, i have drank coffee for as long as i can remember, so it was a really big thing for me to Quit,
though no he doesnt understand,
He couldnt even make it easy for me yesterday, like yeah he didnt smoke in my car, though he stopped and got me a V yesterday so i had some srt of Pick me up though he went and a got huge bottle of "Iced coffee" knowing that i couldnt drink it, then last night with tea he comes home with a coke for me (i very rarely drink coke) and he got another HUGE bottle of "iced coffee" it was like he was rubbing my nose in it.....

Today hasnt been to bad it has had its moments, i am trying to eat when ever i want a smoke, so with any luck i will pile on the weight (i'd be happy with that)

Though yeah with Daniel and i, i really don't think i am going to try any more i really dont see the point.... i have been trying for years though never got anything from it, in all honesty  i only think Daniel and i got back together because  of Deacan,  And maybe also because he would of had to pay a lot in child support for both boys.... I dont know really

I just dont care.....

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