Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Playing on my mind

so i have had this playing on my mind for a VERY long time and didnt know whether to say something or not though i know if i dont i am just going to keep stewing on it

A few people have told me its time to move on and to let Bryce go and rest in peace, and that i should stop going on like i do some of them have NEVER lost a child so have NO idea what I am going through or how I feel, some of them have lost a child though not at birth they have go to take their child home, I am not going to mention names as i dont think its fair

Though for the ones WHO DID GET to take their child home, YOU was able to hold your child when ever you wished,
YOU WAS able to feel that heart beating against your chest,
YOU WAS able to feel your child breath and peer into their loving eyes,
WHEN you HELD your child he/she was worm and moving

MY son's heart wasnt beating, i didnt have a chance to feel it against my chest
MY son wasnt breathing so i never got to feel his breath upon my skin,
MY son's eyes were not open when he was born so i never got a chance to look at them
WHEN i got my FIRST hold of my son he wasn't warm, he was cold and lifeless, and heavy,
I never got a chance to take him home and tuck him in, i NEVER got the chance to leave the hospital with him,
Instead i recived a purple box, with a few photos and the doctors telling me "your still young you have plenty of time for more children"

So before you want to tell me to MOVE on and GET OVER it, how about you think of all that and JUST how LUCKY you really are,

Im really sorry if that is harsh or careless though i have had enough of people telling me to get over it, i will move on from Bryce when i am ready to,  and NOT when anyone tells me to

1 comment:

  1. 18 years on and I miss my baby boy so so much......Ive had plenty of 'move on' comments so I put on a brave face just to please other people...inside I am dying without my baby & I always will cherish your lost angel with all your heart and be proud to tell the world that you do, there are so many people who feel what you do and you let go when You are ready not when other people tell you to xxxxx