Sunday, July 4, 2010

Why is this so?

i have been really trying to find answers lately though i just can not seem to come up with any,
Why am i finding myself wanting to be pregnant again for? i am so happy with the 2 special boys that i have at home here with me and the wonderful angle that i have watching over me, though why am i really wanting this for?
Is it because i know mentally and physically i can not have any more?
Is it because that i know financially we can not afford any more?
Is it because about 90% of my friends are pregnant?
i really want to know what has com over me i really do,
I know i cant fall pregnant because i have had the injection and have been bleeding ever since, and plus after looking after Deacan the last thing i want to do of a night is have sex.... poor Daniel... hasnt had anything for like a month poor guy....
though yeah i just want to be pregnant again and i have no idea why,
Maybe if we go again i might be able to go full term as the stress will not be as bad and ill have more help this time, maybe we will have a girl? i dont know i really dont,
I keep having pregnancy dreams as well where i keep getting + tests or i have a huge belly or im going for an ultrasound and find out...... i just really cant shake it, i feel like i am going mental......
im going to continue to get the injection, im going to go in just before the 12 weeks is up and get the new one just so there is no chance of it happening,

Please if anyone wants to comment to this and doesnt want to comment here, can you please just send it to my facebook inbox and NOT put it on my wall

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