About to explode

I swear i am about to explode, the kids are really getting to me as of late, they are both being so defiant and naughty, Between the tantrums and screaming i honestly dont know how much more i can take before i flip out


This have really been getting to me my emotions are everywhere same as my hormones i am always tired though medically there is nothing wrong with me,
The doctor has put me on new anti depressants i have been taking them for about a week now so i hope these ones help,

My weight has finally gone up i am now 42.9kgs i am really happy about that as for the last 3 weeks when i had my weigh in i had lost weight all 3 times,

Daniel and I are still not seeing eye to eye and with that i have NO IDEA what to do, half of me thinks it would be better if he left and it was jsut the boys and I and the other half wants me to keep giving him chances

I just want to cry, i am really no handling this

My home buisness isnt doing to good i really thought that it would though i guess that was just money down the drain incase you dont know what i am talking about CLICK HERE


I really hope this all ends soon i really do

Poem

Do not stand at my grave & weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the snow on the mountain's rim
I am the laughter in children's eyes
I am the sand at the water's edge
I am the sunlight on ripen grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of
quite birds in circled flight
I am the star that shines at night
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die

by unknown

shoulder?

This might sound really selfish on my behalf or very rude and i am very sorry to all my family and friends that read this,
Though i am always there for family and friends when they need a shoulder or someone to talk to or someone to yell at or just want the company or just want someone there not to talk to though just to be there,
I have been there so much lately for everyone else, it really seems like people have forgotten about me, and how i am feeling, i might seem like i am ok if you are talking to me over msn, webcam,phone or in person, though i would really like to have that shoulder as i really feel like it is needed, though im not the type of person just to blurt it all out, as i know EVERYONE has their own stuff to deal with and their own problems, it would just be nice if someone asked how i was going, or feeling or just walked up to me and gave me a hug and told me everything was going to be alright,I seem to be crying everyday and most of the time i have no idea what i am crying over i just cry,
Some days i look in the mirror and have no idea any more who is looking back at me, like tomorrow is my birthday and i dont feel like celebrating one bit at all, a small part of me doesnt even want to wake up,
or if i do wake up to be told it was all a very bad dream,
as i said this probably sounds all very selfish and i am sorry if it does