Wanted/Loved

Wouldnt it be nice to be wanted/loved like Edward and Jacob want Bella,
I would love to fee that love that they feel for her or that passion,
Most day i doubt that Daniel does love me, Maybe he does Maybe he doesnt, He doesnt say it any more, i dont feel it from him any more,
maybe he is just with me because of the boys and doesnt want to be away from the boys so he stays with me,
Maybe i have just watched WAY to much Twilight though i WANT to have that feeling that Bella does, i want someone to want me like that, i want to mean the world to someone, and be loved like that,
I want to have that heart stopping feeling...
Maybe i am thinking to much into it
Maybe i am just living in a dream world....

Understand

I feel like people dont understand me, like they dont know/understand what id going on inside my head, how i think what i feel and what i want...
Maybe im just being over dramatic though i dont know, people always tell me they know how i feel or know what i am going through though i really doubt it
I know that sounds rude and i am very sorry, Though i guess know one really know how i feel but me,
I try to let people in and let them know and try to explain, though i feel like they think i am pulling the sympathy card,
Like yeah i do understand its been 2 years and 3 months, though i have my good days and my bad days,
And at the moment my bad day are out waying the rest, maybe i just have to much time on my hands, and thats why,
Maybe i am just to un motivated, so instead i just sit here and get upset and just think to much,
I really dont know any more,
I hate feeling like this
I hate feeling that Loosing Bryce was all my fault,
I hate the feeling that i get thinking "what if we got to the hospital quicker, could they of stopped it"
I hate the feeling and the fact that i have 2 other beautiful boys here with me now and that are alive, and all i can do is think about Bryce and what could of been....