Playing on my mind

so i have had this playing on my mind for a VERY long time and didnt know whether to say something or not though i know if i dont i am just going to keep stewing on it

A few people have told me its time to move on and to let Bryce go and rest in peace, and that i should stop going on like i do some of them have NEVER lost a child so have NO idea what I am going through or how I feel, some of them have lost a child though not at birth they have go to take their child home, I am not going to mention names as i dont think its fair

Though for the ones WHO DID GET to take their child home, YOU was able to hold your child when ever you wished,
YOU WAS able to feel that heart beating against your chest,
YOU WAS able to feel your child breath and peer into their loving eyes,
WHEN you HELD your child he/she was worm and moving

MY son's heart wasnt beating, i didnt have a chance to feel it against my chest
MY son wasnt breathing so i never got to feel his breath upon my skin,
MY son's eyes were not open when he was born so i never got a chance to look at them
WHEN i got my FIRST hold of my son he wasn't warm, he was cold and lifeless, and heavy,
I never got a chance to take him home and tuck him in, i NEVER got the chance to leave the hospital with him,
Instead i recived a purple box, with a few photos and the doctors telling me "your still young you have plenty of time for more children"

So before you want to tell me to MOVE on and GET OVER it, how about you think of all that and JUST how LUCKY you really are,


Im really sorry if that is harsh or careless though i have had enough of people telling me to get over it, i will move on from Bryce when i am ready to,  and NOT when anyone tells me to

Knowing how I feel...

I have been umming and aring about posting this though i thought stuff it, this is my blog, this is my way of expressing how i feel, I know this is really going to piss some people off though to be honest i dont care i really need to get this out as i have been stewing on it for way to long

I dont see how people can tell me they know how i feel and what i am going through after loosing Bryce, when they havent been through it, one person really got to me and that was my step sister, she had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and had the nerve to tell me she knew exacly how i felt when i lost Bryce, im sorry sweetie no you dont, yeah a miscarriage is hard and upsetting i have had enough to know though it does NOT compare to a 2nd or 3rd trimester lost,

I have had so many people tell me they know what i am going through as their mum or friend etc went throguh it or they have had a miscarriage under 12weeks, im sorry though how is that the same as loosing a 20+ gestation baby?

You dont have to plan a funeral for the baby, you dont have to hold that lifeless body in your arms.... you dont have to walk into birth death and marriages to register you babies name....

Im sorry this must sound so selfish on my behalf though i just can put up with it any more, i needed to get it off my chest