7w3d

had my ultrasound and peanut is looking great :)
we have a heartbeat of 148bpm, and it is only measuring 3 days behind,
though its so cute :)

rudeness

I am so sick of the rudeness of some people. thy just push and push and push, and at the moment i have had so much other stuff on my mind, with work and this pregnancy plus with me being the only one who was working, my kids, deacan's surgery though no its not that hard is it........
on another note had the market stall today, it didnt go to bad, we are going o go back next week and this time take a lot more stuff with us, as we forgot most of it, as i was in a rush,


have another scan tomorrow, looking forward to it though also scared at the same time, find out if bub is growing like it should be as last week it didnt grow that much, though on a plus side i am geting bigger and also feeling more sicker to, morning sickness has kicked in big time,

7 weeks

Well i am 7 weeks today, only 5 more weeks until i am out of the high danger zone though I dont get out of the danger zone until i am about 24 weeks, though all is seeming to go well now, had no spotting today and very little cramping so thats a good thing, thought i would also post a photo of my 7 week belly

6w4d

well i have another Ultrasound on Thursday i will be 6w6d 
not really sure what i will see, tough i hope peanuts heartbeat is a lot higher :) and that my hematoma has gone down, been getting some bleeding and spotting for the past couple of weeks and some cramping as well, tough most o the pain is going with some painkillers i hate having to take them though thats what the hospital has told me to do

though on the up side of the ultrasound at least i will find out if there is one or two heartbeats,  as she thought she could see 2 sacs side y side though wasnt 100% sure, so i guess thursday will let me know for sure,

6W1D

So i am 6w1d today, i have an edd of 13/1/12 though the doctors are not real going ot go on that thy re going o wait a week or two then do another scan and use for dates,
two days ago bub had a heat beat of 109, so happy about that,

This sounds stupid though i know i am only 6 weeks though i am showing already

I havent realy blogged in a while been really busy with work, plus i have had the flu or thekids have so i dont really get on much,

havng a look through myblog stats, and some people have gone trigger happy on searching for my blog, i guess i must have something worth reading then LOL
I done a digi test and some normal ones i love te Digi tests

That was the Digi think i was around 6 or 7DPO

then here wasth IC and th FRER

and all my stats

10DPO - beta 46
13DPO - beta 100
16DPO - beta 229
17DPO - beta 443
19DPO - U/S sac measuring 4w5d
21DPO - beta 1880
5w6d - 109


wel any way that is it for the time being will post more later

Vivid DreamLa

st night i had the most vivid dream i have ever had it felt so real right down to the pain i experienced in my dream,
im not to sure if i was at hospital or out with a big group of people around me though i dreamed i was in labor again, this was so full on right down to the intense pain of ever contraction I have not had a dream like in a very very long time,
it was really scary, does any one know what this could mean? and before any one asks no i am not pregnant

some people

I really swear some people jsut do not think i really do... or they do though dont understand how much their comments are just plain nasty i recived this comment i think either today or yesterday

Well the dr did say not to get pregnant agIn... Because he new you would have Nother premmie baby... But you were selfish & took that risk anyways to have another baby. So now you haveto deal with the consequences of them being sick with their low immune systems


this was in responce to me posting this

WTF is it with people really? im over it i truely am
Yes my son is back on hosptial
Yes he is sick again...
Why do people keep blaming me for them getting sick for?
DO you really think i like my children being i hospital?
DO you really think i like it that they are sick and unhappy?
I cant help it if they keep getting sick, i do the best i can for htem,
I give them gold formula so they get extra vitimans and minerals, they are also fulling immunised, and i also give them pentivite **extra vitimans** becuase i have them in day careWe are in winter here so its been really cold and yuck, so i keep them rugged up, the heater is always on keeping them warm and with deacan he always has a blanket on him,So beofre ANY of you want to start running your mouth how about you shut it first,
Both of my sons are prem babies, so thier immune system is lower than the average baby,
Seriously is any of uyou can do better please let me know
As i am sure you all have mother and father of the year awards


This really annoys me it really does... how was i being selfish really??? daniel and i were taking precautions i was on contraceptive like bloody hell

i didnt have the heart to have an abortion i really didnt i thought about it though didnt have one.... after burying a child its not easy to "kill" another one like some people really need to think before they talk

and to top it off the person who posted that comment has been evicted TWICE in 6 months, ALSO has the money to go out and get her hair dyed all pretty, her nails done also has money to buy a lot of fancy camera stuff though she is "selfish" enough to spend her money on her and not the rent LMFAO practice what you preach love

Finding things that help

So along my travels in trying to find answers and trying to speak to other poor mums that have lost little ones, i was put in touch with this page Stirrup queens there are a huge list of pregnancy loss and baby loss mums and other factors as well,
It really breaks my heart to know that there are so many mums out there that have gone through this,
To know the pain that i go through each day all these mums and dads go through it to, its not fair


People say that it is "gods work" why does he get to choose who comes and goes

Why is this so?

i have been really trying to find answers lately though i just can not seem to come up with any,
Why am i finding myself wanting to be pregnant again for? i am so happy with the 2 special boys that i have at home here with me and the wonderful angle that i have watching over me, though why am i really wanting this for?
Is it because i know mentally and physically i can not have any more?
Is it because that i know financially we can not afford any more?
Is it because about 90% of my friends are pregnant?
i really want to know what has com over me i really do,
I know i cant fall pregnant because i have had the injection and have been bleeding ever since, and plus after looking after Deacan the last thing i want to do of a night is have sex.... poor Daniel... hasnt had anything for like a month poor guy....
though yeah i just want to be pregnant again and i have no idea why,
Maybe if we go again i might be able to go full term as the stress will not be as bad and ill have more help this time, maybe we will have a girl? i dont know i really dont,
I keep having pregnancy dreams as well where i keep getting + tests or i have a huge belly or im going for an ultrasound and find out...... i just really cant shake it, i feel like i am going mental......
im going to continue to get the injection, im going to go in just before the 12 weeks is up and get the new one just so there is no chance of it happening,

Please if anyone wants to comment to this and doesnt want to comment here, can you please just send it to my facebook inbox and NOT put it on my wall