Weight Gain

YAY i am so happy i jumped on the scales this morning and i am up to 47kgs YAY YAY YAY
sorry just really happy about that, i will get a more accurate reading of my weight tomorrow when i go to the doctor,
though the home scales say 47, so i only have 8kgs left to go until i am at my ideal weight,

What a week

Well all i can say is what a week, it feels like it has been non stop,


First off on Sunday i had my confirmation so i was happy about that, now i am a member of the church and i also received the gift of the spirit as well, I have joined the church chore (not sure spelling is right) so i need to see my doctor about giving me some women injections to make sure my voice goes back up as the steroid injections have made it drop and crack lol


My weight is now 47kgs i am very happy about that, i am going to be either signing up to a gym so i can start getting fit or i will be going for runs, no not to loose weight though just to get fit so i can do everyday things with out getting puffed,  also because all the weight i have put on has gone straight to my stomach not that i mind though my tummy looks like i am 4 months pregnant lol,




Kids are going well Jason is talking so much more now also is getting into trouble a lot more as well, Deacan is just about walking wont be long now for him either, he is starting to walk around furniture, and is standing all the time, though we still haven't gotten him into a sleep routine yet, he just doesn't want to stay asleep so its making it hard on everyone,


On another note Daniel has Quit smoking as well i am so very proud of him, today will be his second day with out one, though today i have been 3 weeks without a smoke or coffee, really starting to miss the coffee now though, 


any way better goes it just about 7am and daniel still isnt out of bed he is going to be late for work, and he will prolly get angry at me for not waking him up though i told him if he didnt get up then it wasnt my fault that he was late for work,.


Any way i will talk again soon


Sarah xx

Weight

Well on a good side my Weight has gone up YAY
i am now 45kg,

Im really happy about that only 10 more Kgs to go until i am at my ideal weight

I think i am going to stop with the steroid shots as the side effects are really starting to bother more,


On another note i am stumped to who reads this blog, as i have had HEAPS of page view though no one comments,
If you do read this can you please leave a comment to this, i dont care if you leave your name or stay anonymous as it doesn't "bother" me who reads it, i would like like to know numbers of who really  reads it and doesn't just skim over it

About to explode

I swear i am about to explode, the kids are really getting to me as of late, they are both being so defiant and naughty, Between the tantrums and screaming i honestly dont know how much more i can take before i flip out


This have really been getting to me my emotions are everywhere same as my hormones i am always tired though medically there is nothing wrong with me,
The doctor has put me on new anti depressants i have been taking them for about a week now so i hope these ones help,

My weight has finally gone up i am now 42.9kgs i am really happy about that as for the last 3 weeks when i had my weigh in i had lost weight all 3 times,

Daniel and I are still not seeing eye to eye and with that i have NO IDEA what to do, half of me thinks it would be better if he left and it was jsut the boys and I and the other half wants me to keep giving him chances

I just want to cry, i am really no handling this

My home buisness isnt doing to good i really thought that it would though i guess that was just money down the drain incase you dont know what i am talking about CLICK HERE


I really hope this all ends soon i really do

Daniel & I

Well i guess this post has been a long time coming

things are just getting way out of hand and i just cant take it any more, the more i keep it inside the more angry and upset i get,

Things with daniel and i have been up and down for a very long time, from the death of our son to the birth of Deacan we have been through so much, we have separated for about 6 or so months we have made up things have been great and things have been hell,

there is no real big thing causing problems its a lot of little things, i am constantly the one who does the majority of things, like house work cook etc, and yes before October i wasnt working so i didnt mind doing it all though now i am working, i have 2 hours a day to get everything clean before i need to go to work then most days i dont get home to about 7pm if not later, then come the weekends i spend cleaning looking after the boys and maybe have a nap during the day as i am so tired,
Our biggest problem at the moment is the computer the majority of Daniels time where he isn't at work is spent on the computer i know that he goes on there to unwind and chill out though it shouldn't been all the time, like yes i spend a bit of time on the computer though i also do house work and tend to the boys and other stuff as well and it isn't like i just sit on it i get up move around play with the kids etc, though if daniel had it his way it would just sit on there and not move, the only real reason he gets off it most days is to get a drink or get something to eat or go to the bathroom or go for a smoke, thats it, his days routine is Get up, go to the toilet, turn the computer on, go for a smoke then sit on the computer, get ready for work, leave for work, spend all day at work on the computer come home turn his computer on have a smoke, sit on the computer until tea is ready eat tea hop back on the computer then stay there until i go to bed, and if deacan is still up he tends to deacan though mostly sits on the computer,
Daniel has quite often told me how he hates being so over weight though yet does nothing about it, i try not to buy munchy food in the shopping or coke or anything like that so he doesn't have it though then Jason and myself have to go with out, It seems like a major effort to get him to do any type of physical activity like play with the boys where they get his full attention, mow the lawn, or the house work,
Like yesterday for example he broke out into a massive sweat just from sweeping the front patio, the only reason why he done that was because his boss was coming over so he decided to help out a bit,
Daniel has signed up to the gym he was going like 3 to 5 days a week, then stopped once he had jason for 10 weeks straight while i was in hospital, though now that we are all back here, he told me that he was going to start going again, that was months ago, we are paying money paying for gym fees that we can not afford and he isnt even going there,

I can see the way that Daniel is going he is going to put himself into an early grave and i dont want that i love Daniel and i want our kids to have their father around though the way he is going he wont be around for long, every time i try to talk to Daniel about all this either he changes subject or we get into a massive fight about it, so i just don't bother any more, i really dont know what to do any more i cant sit here and watch him slowly killing himself, i dont want the kids to loose their father though i dont want to loose my husband,  i have thought about entering daniel into the biggest looser though i can see he wouldn't do it and health wise i don't think he would be able to do it,

I think the biggest thing with all our problems and with him being so lazy is that he just doesnt have the energy or the care to do anything and i really do think that most of that comes from being over weight i have always told daniel that i will stand by him 110% and back him with what ever he wants to do, though i am not going to back him with him slowly killing himself, you can lead a horse to water though you cant make it drink it......

I really dont know what to do anymore :(

Weight

Well i guess i should go and jump onto the scales and see what they say, i dont have digital ones like the doctors, just the old fashion ones lol though i'm guessing it wont be as accurate as his, though i guess as long as it hasnt gone down thats a good thing,
I put on a T-Shirt yesterday and it was tight on me, i dont think i have put that much weight on lol, im guessing it has shrunk a bit in the wash

Weight Gain

I had a doctors appointment today, all went well i jumped on the scales and i am now 42.3kgs last week i was only 41.9kgs i have had a weight gain of 400g i know it isnt much though its better than nothing, so i got my second steroid injection and now i go back in 2 weeks for another and also another weigh in

Steroids

I had my first steroid injection last week to help me put on weight, the doctor and i have tried everything to help me gain weight though nothing has been working, everyone has been telling me to have shakes etc, though they don't seem to realize that Daniel and i don't have the money for them just to see if they work, the doctor put me on the scales and i am down to 41.9kgs i go back in on Wednesday to get my second one also to get weighed in again, though he said that if my weight keeps coming off that he will have no choice but to admit me into hospital until i gain the weight, if these steroid injections are working i will only be on them for 6 months,, i am only on the minimum dose at the moment so if my weight has stayed the same and i haven't gained any it will be getting increased 

Gaining Weight,

Well we all know i have problems controlling my weight from a past eating disorder that i suffered from, the only way i seem to gain and keep on weight is when i am pregnant though i dont want it to be the case this time, so today is day one of my gaining weight goal,

Starting weight : 44kgs


Goal weight: 55kgs

I would like to gain this weight in about a month or possibly less so what i am going to do is try my hardest to keep a food diary and i will post here each day what i have eaten and possibly once or twice a week i will jump on the scales and see,
See i'm not like most people i find it VERY hard to keep weight on and to gain it were other people seem to be the opposite they easily put it on and keep it,