Children

Im so blessed to have my 3 boys i really am i wouldnt give them p for nothing

I go the worse news yesterday a firend of mine over in the states told us all that she lost her 4 month old a week ago, my heart breaks for her it really does, as the loss of a child is something that no one should EVER go through, little beckett died of SIDS, he was such a beautiful little boys,

So for all the mothers/fathers out there that get pissed off at your children and get angry at them and yell and so forth just think yourself lucky that you still have your little one/s there with you,
Remember to kiss them EVERY day tell them how much you love them and how they mean the world to you,
Because you never know when your time will get cut short with them,

RIP Beckett

Playing on my mind

so i have had this playing on my mind for a VERY long time and didnt know whether to say something or not though i know if i dont i am just going to keep stewing on it

A few people have told me its time to move on and to let Bryce go and rest in peace, and that i should stop going on like i do some of them have NEVER lost a child so have NO idea what I am going through or how I feel, some of them have lost a child though not at birth they have go to take their child home, I am not going to mention names as i dont think its fair

Though for the ones WHO DID GET to take their child home, YOU was able to hold your child when ever you wished,
YOU WAS able to feel that heart beating against your chest,
YOU WAS able to feel your child breath and peer into their loving eyes,
WHEN you HELD your child he/she was worm and moving

MY son's heart wasnt beating, i didnt have a chance to feel it against my chest
MY son wasnt breathing so i never got to feel his breath upon my skin,
MY son's eyes were not open when he was born so i never got a chance to look at them
WHEN i got my FIRST hold of my son he wasn't warm, he was cold and lifeless, and heavy,
I never got a chance to take him home and tuck him in, i NEVER got the chance to leave the hospital with him,
Instead i recived a purple box, with a few photos and the doctors telling me "your still young you have plenty of time for more children"

So before you want to tell me to MOVE on and GET OVER it, how about you think of all that and JUST how LUCKY you really are,


Im really sorry if that is harsh or careless though i have had enough of people telling me to get over it, i will move on from Bryce when i am ready to,  and NOT when anyone tells me to

My Beautiful Boy

 

I love this little man so much, I miss him more than anything, not a day goes by that i dont think of him or want him beside me,

Love you little man xx

Wanted/Loved

Wouldnt it be nice to be wanted/loved like Edward and Jacob want Bella,
I would love to fee that love that they feel for her or that passion,
Most day i doubt that Daniel does love me, Maybe he does Maybe he doesnt, He doesnt say it any more, i dont feel it from him any more,
maybe he is just with me because of the boys and doesnt want to be away from the boys so he stays with me,
Maybe i have just watched WAY to much Twilight though i WANT to have that feeling that Bella does, i want someone to want me like that, i want to mean the world to someone, and be loved like that,
I want to have that heart stopping feeling...
Maybe i am thinking to much into it
Maybe i am just living in a dream world....

seen on facebook

Seen this on facebook its really sweet though brought a tear to my eye, i really dont know whats wrong i dont no if its my hormones or what though yeah it made me cry

I loved you the minute i found out you existed, then I saw your ultrasound scan and fell in love with you more. You were only a few centremeters long but I knew I would die for you, and to this day I still would and I would do anything I could to protect you. This is the miracle of life! Put this on your status if you have children you love more than life itself


This suits Bryce so much... Even though he was not a planned pregnancy as soon as i seen him i loved him right from the little jelly bean look that he was from the first kick and movement... right up until he was born...

and still to this day i love him more than life itself