Rain

I am so over the rain now its been raining for weeks, up north of us in townsville they are coping it so bad, i took some photos of our yeard after a 5 to 10 min down fall this is how much we flood in 5 to 10 mins i would hate to see it if it was longer

and its forecast to stay around for a couple of more days still

Asking to much?

Well i guess i am asking to much i think.

Im sick of our house looking like a pig sty, all i am ever seeming to do is clean, i get it half way nice and clean then the kids come home and its not dirty though just becomes untidy,
I guess it would be to much to ask to get Daniels help hey??? like yeah i do understand that he works 5 days a week from about 8am to about 6pm, though i work to i might not do the hours that he does, though i work from 12 to 6pm monday to thursday then from 12 to 5pm on friday, i get up early to the boys some morning its around 4am, i get them ready for daycare, leave at about 6.30 dont get home to around 8ish, then that gives me 2 hours to get the place clean again, bottles toys picked up vacuuming dishes and washing then i get ready for work at 10 then leave at 11am, so come a weekend or before he goes to work it would be nice if i had a bit of a hand
He honestly wonders why i get so tired and why i go to bed early when i can or have a nap during the day on the weekend, though after doing everything and dealing with the kids on the weekend i am truly stuffed, come some days i am just that tired i cant be bothered cooking tea, so it would be nice if tea was cooked for me, Yes i understand that daniel is tired as well, as he stays up most nights to about 10.30-11pm, just incase Deacan wakes back up,though i am still up early of a morning, i dont know i guess i am just asking to much, most nights all he does is sit on the computer and play his games and thats it,i really dont know any more

Q

Am i asking to much?? Does your partner help you out?

Christmas Wish

I find that around the christmas time, that people turn very selfish and its all about getting gifts and who spent more on who and all that bull,

I have one christmas wish one gift that i want, one gift i know i will never get

My one wish/gift that i would love to have is to have my son back

though you wont see me throwing a tatrum because i know that wont be what i will get
though i will make sure that a candle shines brightly for him on the day, i might not have him in may arms like i want though he will be in my heart, i will have his photo shown off with pride  he is still part of the family dead or alive,
Bryce is our angle on our tree, we dont need know star we dont need no fake plastic angel as god is hold our angel for us and keeping him safe, im sure on christmas instead of holding him i will feel his wings wrapped around me instead


My Christmas Wish,......

Always wanted

I dont know why i never have though i have always wanted to get things with Bryce's name on it though when i look at things with peoples names on it, i can never find his name,

Maybe that is a sign, 

i dont know really, maybe Bryce doesn't want me to have things around with his name, as i know i will see them and i would get up set though i really feel like he is starting to fade in the background,

Maybe i am just thinking to much into it

Q,

Have you ever brought anything with your angels name on it? what did you get and how does it make you feel to look at it

Weight Gain

I had a doctors appointment today, all went well i jumped on the scales and i am now 42.3kgs last week i was only 41.9kgs i have had a weight gain of 400g i know it isnt much though its better than nothing, so i got my second steroid injection and now i go back in 2 weeks for another and also another weigh in

Steroids

I had my first steroid injection last week to help me put on weight, the doctor and i have tried everything to help me gain weight though nothing has been working, everyone has been telling me to have shakes etc, though they don't seem to realize that Daniel and i don't have the money for them just to see if they work, the doctor put me on the scales and i am down to 41.9kgs i go back in on Wednesday to get my second one also to get weighed in again, though he said that if my weight keeps coming off that he will have no choice but to admit me into hospital until i gain the weight, if these steroid injections are working i will only be on them for 6 months,, i am only on the minimum dose at the moment so if my weight has stayed the same and i haven't gained any it will be getting increased 

Study

Im thinking about doing some sort of study in between work and what not one that i can do online or at home at my own pace, something that will look good on my resume  or help me in getting a better job though i really dont know what to do and also the cost of it all, does anyone have any suggestions?