Finally

I finally done it, I asked the doctor for help,
I went and sore the doctor yesterday and told him that i wasn't coping to well with everything that is going on, and that i needed help he said that he has wanted to put me on something for quite a while now, though i kept turning him down, as i wanted to do it myself, and  i was scared that if i went on something or told him i wasnt coping that he would take my kids off me, he said that i have lasted a very long time with out anything and that i am stronger than i think i am, due to everything that i have been through and i still managed to keep it together, The doctor said that he would gladly put me on the mediation to help and he said that he would never take my children off me, and he is proud that i finally asked for help,
I have been trying to deal with this on my own and now it has gotten me so low i couldn't see a way out, i feel a lot better for asking for help,
I was ment to be on anti depressants after loosing Bryce though i didnt want to take anything, and then after having jason i started to suffer from postnatal depression, and i was so ashamed so i didnt ask for help at all, as i didnt want anyone to know, though for the past couple of months things have really been getting on top of me and i feel like i have no control over anything , he said that the medication wont help straight away though it will be between 6 months to 1 year before i notice a well and truly improvement